Dear Shahrukh,
That you are
having a terrible run at the box office is evident to everyone. Equally evident
is that everybody and their uncle is advising you on how you should do
something “different” to remain relevant. Basically, motherhoods from people
who have no idea of what makes movies work. So here goes my two-bit advice as a
movie-goer and former fan.
1) Get back the female audience:Three generations of women looked
upon your romantic persona as that of the ideal man: Lover, friend and husband.
Your association with the very slutty Priyanka Chopra left female fans feeling
cheated. It may be too late to try for the “good husband” image, but your movies
need to have something which allows women to dream again. Fan,Raees had women as arm candy, the repugnant Harry of Jab Harry met Sejal was just what women
hate. And Zero – Is that the best you
could do with two gorgeous women as leading ladies?
2) Stop the trademark moves: Don’t forget, the audience that
swooned when you stretched out your arms , now look at the same move as the
tired parody of a yesteryear superstar. It dates you, and ages you.
Off-screen appearances need a little bit
of style quotient too. If I had a dollar for every black shirt, black suit public
appearance of yours , I’d be a millionaire. Borrring !!
3) Don’t highlight your age on film : Everybody know the age of the stars,
and yet we like to live in a state of suspended reality. So everytime you say
on-screen “I’m 40 years old “etc, an 18 year old is thinking “God, he’s my DAD
!!”
4) Cut loose Red Chillies VFX: Its been your Achilles Heel. Ever
since Ra.One in 2011, you have tweaked many projects to accommodate them. It
has been almost a decade now and Red Chillies VFX is nowhere on the wishlist of
any Bollywood producer, and has left you with a string of professional and
financial setbacks.
5) Stop taking a crap on the release
date of every other actor’s films: This comes back to bite you in the
ass, when the going gets tough . Right from Don,
to Om Shanti Om, to Dilwale to Raees, you have squatted on other movie release dates without co-operating
with their producers, who,in fact been long standing friends. That was okay till the
time your movies worked. Dilwale and Raees ‘s underwhelming performance is
testimony to the fact that “ Ab doosre ka
time aayega”
6) Do a basic script writing course: That you
turned down the Munnabhai series and 3 Idiots by one of the strongest
script-writing teams in the business is testimony to the fact that you need to get a better script sense.
7) Don’t be in love with your Bollywood
universe: You
are possibly the only star in the world who has played the maximum roles around
filmy people- Om Shanti Om, Billu, Fan,
Zero. You come across as a navel-gazing narcissist.
8) Don’t think you are the ultimate
marketing and PR whiz and “don’t need anybody’s advice”. If you had been, your movies would
have minted money for your distributors and taken fantastic openings. One can
market things only as long as the content is good, not when it isn’t.
Regards,
A former
fan (who thinks you have at least another decade of great films in you)
